The Engagement phase: Common Pre-wedding Problems Today

The great news about being engaged is that you don’t have to wait until marriage to deal with few areas of conflict. The phase begins with being proactive to ensure the  bond remains strong.

Wedding Planning Stress
Now you are engaged, the journey begins as you start combining ideas on wedding details. You may have different opinions of where the wedding should take place, how small or big you want it, what time of the year would be suitable and this means a little compromise from both of you. A discussion about the most important details such as the wedding location is one of the factors to decide together. Your partner may want a local wedding, meanwhile you may want a destination wedding. Finding a common ground means starting by what you want to get out of your big day, how many guests you both intend to invite. In areas where you find it hard to meet in the middle, it may want to book a consultation with a wedding planner so they can bring new ideas and share their experiences with past couples in similar situation.

Combining Finances
Once you are engaged, it is possible to get excitedly carried away with all the wedding planning and forget to firstly plan out your wedding budget and life after wedding day. Finances tends to be one of the huge stress on a marriage and if not discussed properly (long-term and short-term financial goals) it is easy to face financial problems once married. It is worth discussing what are the important factors for both of you so you know where you’d both like to budget on i.e. shopping, outings and how you intend to go about it i.e. opening a wedding joint account.

Everyone Wants To Be Involved
For couples who come from a large family background, you may find that once you are engaged, both your parents & relatives will want to make sure they are involved with their own opinions which will only stress you more. Of course, still maintain a respectful approach but be sure to set early boundaries so they won’t think they have input on every part of your lives. Wedding planning can be stressful, and having future in-laws who mean well but constantly expecting you to do things their way, especially when it comes to the traditional side of things. Therefore, be open and communicate with everyone involved, explaining you will take on board their suggestions but make decisions as team.

Deciding Where To Live
Often, couples who are engaged live in different places. During your engagement, you’d be discussing what location would be best to settle, and is commutable in regards to work, or if you would like to stay close to friends and family. What also comes into the decision is how much budget allows for utility bills and other payments. If you are both actively working, you can decide on splitting the bills and decide on who will be responsible for what. If you decide on buying a house together, it is worth putting into consideration when the best time is doing so, as this will be added stress during your wedding planning. Take time to discuss this together and decide on what is best for both of you.

High Expectations
During the engagement, and most especially if you both live in different places, the wedding planning can get stressful. This is the period where expectations are high and without a mutual understanding between couples, the planning may become frustrating. By slowly easing i nto the married life, you will enjoy the whole being engaged phase of being with one another. Recognise and complement each other’s strengths, and rather than expect too much from each other, instead start doing things you enjoy together.

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